I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
honey bunches of taint.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
