The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
