You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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