But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
