My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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