he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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