BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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