Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize