Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan