How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.