Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
