Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
