I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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