I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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