I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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