if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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