As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
