I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
