If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
