do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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