Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
