just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
