and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
