What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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