Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
