you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
