If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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