why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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