About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
