Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
