I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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