who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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