Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
