brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
