I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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