If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
