he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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