Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
