hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
