PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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