Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
