they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
