haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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