I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
