Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I sprained my soul last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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