12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
