Buhtt sex?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
