She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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