she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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