My balls are so social today.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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