Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
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WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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