You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
