Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
