got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
