marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
