I think scott just propositioned me for sex
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
