As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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