fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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