What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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