i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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