Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
