Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
